This guy is the president of Russia.
The year is 1999. Communism fell and everybody's Livin' La Vida Loca. You can poop wherever you want and people pick it up for you. I am born.
The world is bright and beautiful. Look out your window, what do you see? Why, it's a young Elijah Wood! He has just been cast in The Lord of the Rings. Good for you, Elijah Wood!
This guy is the president of the United States.
This guy is the president of Russia.
And nothing bad will ever happen again. It's the end of history and things are pretty chill. Mostly we just play with pogs and invest in the Dotcom Bubble. Cody is basically the most powerful force on the planet right now because his mom bought him a playstation. This is Cody:
the playstation
Cody said his mom let him try beer once and it tasted like shit. Cody fucking rules. We hang out in his basement every day.
Today is a special day. The sizzling sounds of "Steal My Sunshine" by Len reverbate across the globe. A thousand Capri-Suns burst in unison. Are those angels? Nay, they are but our nation's youth, propelled ever upward in their Moon Boots. The Connecticut River is green with gushers and slime. In West Hartford Hospital, a doctor wearing Matrix glasses holds a squirming fish. But it is not a fish, it is a man. I am born. Bjork, who is there, solemnly nods.
At 9pm on April 9th, at 246 Johnson Avenue, Apartment 1E, we find out. Come dressed as if it is 1999. In this scenario it IS 1999 so if you show up wearing 21st Century clothing I will think you are a time traveler and scream. Bill Clinton is NOT ALLOWED IN but Boris Yeltsin will be there, as will Chloe Sevigny and Brendan Fraser. And, of course, Cody. This is a shared Spotify playlist-- add as many songs from 1999 as you can think of!
It's a birthday party!!!!
ttfn ;) -Leo